I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
