She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
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I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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