I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
