Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This gyro tastes like lonliness
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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