Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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