We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
