So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
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Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
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I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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