at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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