Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
