We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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