mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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