He uses pillows to masturbate.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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