I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
