Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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