Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
