sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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