Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
