Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
