he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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