mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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