there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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