i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
