I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
