it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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