He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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