I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize