I'm drive I can fine osifer
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
