he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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