i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize