a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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