So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you had me at cake vodka
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
