Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
