Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
