I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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