I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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