I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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