Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
