How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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