he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
