i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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