That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
