worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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