Got a toothbrush?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
