You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
