Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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