it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
