Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
