just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
