don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
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So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize