pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I woke up under a house in Key West
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