I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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