i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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