I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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