I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
